Crimes of opportunity

from Emily Haines
to Lane Jones
date Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 5:51 PM
subject Re: Pickin’

So my mom just got it in her mind that she was gonna play fetch with charley…who has never played fetch in his life. so she up and lets him out and she walks out there with a tennis ball and he runs away to go terrorize the neighborhood.

- - -

I whip around at a commotion behind me, frenzy precipitating the event I knew would come next. Two sleek figures shot out of the door and into the black night beyond. Momma Haines stood against the door frame looked frustrated and disappointed. With a cold glare, she spat, “You have to close the wooden door.” I have no doubt I closed that door, with fervor.

They must be hell-hounds.

I slump to the car, disheartened, and my dad leans out the window. “What happened?” He inquires. I sigh. I let the dogs out, I tell him. He smiles, giddy with cleverness and then erupts into a chorus of “WHO LET DA DAWGS OUT?! WHO! WHO! WHO!”